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It’s about YOU (not about them).

It happens to all of us.  Someone approaches with an opportunity to advance.  You get excited. You hear their glowing feedback about you and you start to focus on the promise of something new.  The visions of what is possible with more money, a new title and likely better benefits start to dance in your head.

This is where we miss the most important thing.The opportunity is presented because of someone else’s vision of your life and what they think is next for you.

should I jump to another pondIs it? Are we ok with that?  

Over the last few months we’ve talked a lot about who’s in the driving seat. At this crossroads, it’s even more important that we need to stop and think about our personal vision for our life.  Does this fit?  Why does it make sense now?

You see, it isn’t about them, it is always about YOU. Think of it this way…every move we make in our life is like a relay race.  We will never be in the same place forever.  So it is important to understand where this fits and why it fits into our bigger picture for ourselves.

Sometimes the fit isn’t obvious, but we do it anyway so we learn by doing what works (or doesn’t).  But we need to understand then, why we took it to begin with.  Then we  can keep that in mind as we decide how long this part of our relay will last.

Because you see, as we think about the big picture of our life, we need to also think about the little pieces so they head in the right direction.

And recognize that this skill applies to your entire life, not just when you are starting out.  The more work you do in this area, the more able you will be to do the work that optimizes you.  I think your life is too important to leave to someone else to decide.   The only thing it guarantees, is that you will never optimize what could be.  And YOU are too valuable to be wasted.

In my upcoming book, GROUNDED-Leading your life with intention, I explore the process I used to learn more about how to do that.  I hope you will check it out and engage in sharing your insights.

I would love to hear what you are learning and how your are leading your own life.

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  1. Love the relay race analogy. But in this case, the race is not running around a predefined 400 meter oval. Instead, each hand-off or stage may take you in a new direction, depending on the knowledge and experience gained during the previous legs. Personally, I started out my career with certain dreams and visions and now admit that I did not dream big enough in my early years. Now with retirement on the near horizon, I confess that none of my career stops beyond the first, were ever on my radar in 1983 as a college grad. Nothing wrong with that, unless you lack adventure, fear change, or are overly anal in your approach to life, then this approach will likely cause angst.
    The key to success? Decide what you want in the moment and go for it. You own your future and no one else can truly define it for you (that’s the non-union mentality in me). Write down what you want at each stage of life/career and seek a match.
    Don’t settle for good. Create great.

  2. As a busy woman trying to survive parenting, leading, and being a connected wife it is easy to get caught up in “following” a path – or many times not stopping to see what path you are even on. Some of the best advise I’ve received has come from everyday living, but needs to be something I remind myself purposefully along this journey. My attitude and effort belong to me. Be intentional and bold.
    The line I tell my kids “if you don’t know, who does?”
    Looking forward to the book!

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